little butterfly

You can't tell that there's crayon on this butterfly, but there is. It is purple stripey.

Lucy drew on a big piece of paper. I didn't have any scissors for her, but after she was done coloring she came over to me in the kitchen where I was cooking and said,

"Here mommy. Here's a budderfly for you."

Perhaps I am easily pleased, but I am thinking that was a pretty good looking butterfly to tear out of an 11x14 piece of paper!

Now That's Good Customer Service

I just went to the dry cleaner.. not just any dry cleaner...my dry cleaner. Our relationship has gone to a whole new level today.

He said "Jenny?" (and he really calls me Jenny, something not so common unless you knew me when I was a kid, know me from this blog, or have known me a long time) "Jenny, are you sad about something? You look sad today."

wow. that obvious?

So I answered truthfully, which appears to be my only ability lately, and it is not always in my best interest to tell the truth, or at least the truth as I see it, but my yammering has been full of it these days.

I said, "Well, I had a long talk with my mom...and I made her sad, and that in turn made me sad, which made her a little more sad, and a little mad, which made me mad, and a lot more sad, and everything will be okay, but it was just a lot for one day."

and he said, "It will be okay. You love your mom, the way you talk about her. You went on a trip with her last year right?" (which is impressive that he would remember don't you think?) "You love your mom and she loves you, it will be fine. Cheer up Jenny."

and I left feeling like the world is a pretty good place..and then I went to get coffee because I am hoping that caffeine can help put my brain back together.

and who shows up next to me?

my dry cleaner...my dry cleaner who says, "I would like to buy Jenny's drink." and when I protested, he said, "Let me do this for you. You need to cheer up Jenny."

so I let him buy me my double shot of espresso with a little dollop of whipped cream.

and I am, I think, a bit cheered up.

Don't you wish he was your dry cleaner?

Wow! Watch Out Seattle

So you know we have a show in Seattle for Can I Sit With You? a book reading.. and now NPR is officially going to cover it. This is so exciting.. for nerds like me (a nerd with out a PhD in something), being mentioned even by proxy on NPR is tantamount to having a paper published in a scholarly journal, and since I know that's probably never going to happen, NPR is the next best thing for me. I mean I just thought about that this very moment, but I am pretty sure that's what I think.

So if you know anyone in Seattle, know anyone who likes Seattle, know anyone with a lot of frequent flyer miles and is bored..send them our way.

tickets on sale now http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/30612

Friday, April 25, 2008 8:00pm
Annex Theatre
1122 E. Pike St.
Seattle, WA 98122
(206) 728-0933

Scheduled performers:

SJ Alexander lives in Seattle, avidly follows the doings of Britney Jean Spears, and is a Kennedy Administration buff. SJ writes almost daily at "I, Asshole" online.

Els Kushner is a librarian and writer who lives in the Pacific Northwest with her spouse, their daughter, and far too many books. Her website, Book Book Book, is at www.bookbk.blogspot.com.

Liz Henry lives in many intersecting communities, as a feminist, poet, translator, blogger, science fiction fan, queer & genderqueer writer, and computer geek. She's had work published in Parthenon West, Xantippe, Lodestar Quarterly, Poetry Flash, Two Lines, Cipactli, caesura, other, Literary Mama, Strange Horizons, and has been publishing zines and little books since 1986.

Sarah M. Glover is a recovering C.P.A. who lives and writes in San Francisco. She is currently using her young children as guinea pigs while manically scribbling away about ghosts and fairies. Hopefully, the scribbling will make it into a book before they leave for college.

Michael Procopio lives in San Francisco, but has yet to figure out the precise name of his neighborhood. He is a food blogger who dislikes the word "blogger" almost as much as he does the words "moist," "classy," and "slacks." His likes include the drawings of Edward Gorey, Cotswold cheese, and the musical stylings of Jacques Brel. His websites are www.word-eater.blogspot.com, and www.kqed.org/weblog/food.

Jason Kovacs is a native of the I-5 corridor whose writing has appeared in Cranky Literary Journal, ZYZZYVA, and Jeopardy Magazine (you could go find all that stuff and read it, except it is all published under Jasons old name and Kovacs is his shiny new name). Jason does not like cilantro, and does not understand people who do.

Judy McCrary Koeppen lives with her family in the San Francisco Bay Area. She works as a speech language pathologist specializing in early intervention. When not being paid to hang out with really great kids, she chases her own two children and cares for her family's ever-increasing number of pets.

Cindy Emch is a highway poet. She can be found writing reams of valentines and love letters to her adventures on a daily basis. She calls them poems. Her words are salty and crunchy like sweat and gravel, and they tell queer mossy secrets. Cindys work has been been published in Lodestar Quarterly, There Journal, Its So You: 35 Women on Fashion, Beauty, and Personal Style (edited by Michelle Tea), and numerous chapbooks. She co-hosted The Aunty Cindy and Unka Lynnee Show with Lynn Breedlove on Pirate Cat Radio from 2004 to 2007, and has been a curator for the National Queer Arts Festival since 1995. Emch is the founder and co-host of San Franciscos twice-a-month Queer Open Mic, which features queer folks of all colors, cultures, and creeds performing their awesome lit to encourage the building of bridges between art, community, and revolution.

Sarah Dopp is a San Francisco-based writer and tech geek. She co-founded TheWrit.org, an online writing workshop and publication which has survived in a state of anarchy for almost five years. She's also the editor of Genderfork.com, a blog that explores androgyny and gender variance through artistic photography. Sarah was a member of the 2003 New Hampshire Poetry Slam Team, and likes to think of herself as a "recovering slam poet." You can learn more about Sarah and read her blog at SarahDopp.com.

Special thanks to Annex Theatre (http://www.annextheatre.org/) for donating their space to this event. "Annex Theatre is dedicated to creating bold new work in an environment of improbability, resourcefulness and risk ..."

bayBEE CHIK KENS

Notice how there are a few peeps missing? Three are gone. Lucy ate two Peeps. I know because I gave them to her just now, after she nearly had a melt down trying to explain to me that there were "bayBEE CHIK-KENS" in the kitchen.

"Come Mommy! I want eat bayBEE CHIK-KENS. Come Mommy COME! Please Mommy! PLEASE! PLEASE! Dere's BAYBEE CHIK-KENS...right dere!"

and indeed there were "baby chickens" high up on top of the spice cabinet tucked behind something, completely forgotten.

So she got to have one, i mean, er two baby chickens. Yeah, I'm a sucker. oh and I ate one too.

Is It Friday? Well it Must be Since Jake's Talking!

I just got a call from Janice, Jake's amazing teacher. Happy Friday!

This morning on the playground during A-PE (adaptive phys-ed)

Anna: "Jake look, there's the circle. There's the square. There's the triangle."
Jake: "Triángulo"

for those of you who do not speak Spanish, that's triangle. What's even funnier is that Anna was speaking English to Jake but his echolalia was in Spanish...so does that still count or is that spontaneous language?

______________________________________________

and later today

The class went to get ice cream because it is hot today in Deadwood City. When they got back to the classroom, Jake ate all of his ice cream up lickety-split (no surprise there).

And then he ate the rest of Anna's ice cream too.

Anna: "Jake, your ice cream is all gone."
Jake: "NO."

Janice: "Jake, would you like some of my ice cream?"
Jake: beginning calmly and ending with high-pitched happiness, "yeAH!"

a few minutes later...
Anna: "Jake, you should say 'Thank you' to Ms. Janice for giving you some of her ice cream."
Jake: beginning slightly muffled then ending clearly..."Thank YOU!



parenting note: to encourage open communication with Jake I must
a) learn Spanish
and
b) carry ice cream on my person at all time.

Of Course!

Jake's after-school aide just called, and she's fine, no one was hurt, but her brakes went out on her car. Luckily she was going 5 miles an hour on flat ground. Had she gotten all the way to our house... on her way out she would have ended up in the garage of the house across the street (and down the steep steep drive from us.) I am so grateful that the car trouble was discovered earlier in the day.

I'm also feeling just a bit sorry for myself, because...of course... the car is broken and she won't be able to come to help me. Of course. Because I specifically put Lucy into daycare today, and had Jake covered so I can finish the taxes and work on SEPTAR and Can I Sit With You? stuff.
Of course, because it just sort of seems like I haven't had a single week lately that follows my orderly instructions. Someone has been sick or not shown up or it rained or we tore up the yard or something.. oh wait.. that's just what my life looks like...CRAP

at least no one was hurt.

Things We Hear at Bedtime

• Jake laughing
• toys being thrown on the hardwood floor
• theme song to "Winnie the Pooh" because Lucy has figured out how to turn on the TV/VCR combo in Jake's room and that's what's in the player
• "My SHOE!"
• "My HAIR!"
• "I'm HUNGRY!"
• "POTTY!"
• "Poo-POO!"
• "Daddy"
• "MOMMY!"
• "My BROTHER!"
• Jake laughing a lot
  

It's Been a Good Long Day

We spent the morning shoveling more decomposed granite and compacting it with a rented machine that makes the whole yard shake. Then we moved 2 tons of base rock down to the lower side yard and did the same thing there. We got a lot done in about 3 hours and I think we are ready to install the grass when it arrives (hopefully) tomorrow.

Then I showered and gussied up and drove my buttocks all the way to Berkeley for my reunion thingy. My singing group in college, a nine-woman a capella group was a pretty huge part of my life when I was at Cal, and the friendships I gained in those few years have continued to enrich my life.

It was fantastic to hear the current group perform. They are talented and beautiful and friendly. It was great to sing.

In harmony with others is always a great place to be.

When Jake Talks, People Listen

Monday

A girl in Jake's class, imitating some adult behavior she had no doubt recently seen, went on a "rant" around the classroom, waving her hands and raising her voice about nothing much at all.

Jake: "She's Ca-RAZY!"

______________________________________

Tuesday

Squid picked Jake up from school when he got sick and took him home.

Squid: "Would you like water or juice?"

Jake: "Juse."

_______________________________________

Wednesday

I can't remember Wednesday because it feels like a long long time ago, but if I remember I will put something here.

_______________________________________

Thursday

When asked at circle-time to choose "the zebra" at circle time he did so with no physical prompting. Then his friend next to him said "Good job Jake! High-5?" and he gave her a a High-5 all on his own.

then... during lunch he was trying to get his straw into his mouth (the straw from his milk carton) and was getting frustrated.

Anna: "Jake, you can do it yourself or you need to ask for help."

Jake: leaning into Anna's arm and looking towards her face, "Help!".

and then, Jake's therapist (Josie, an OT from CCS) came to our home for a visit. I asked Jake to demonstrate how he is trying, and can nearly scoop with a spoon.

Me: "Jake, you can do it. Show Ms. Josie how you can scoop your ice cream with a spoon. Can you scoop your ice cream with the spoon?"

Jake: "Nope."

and then

Jake was going to demonstrate how well he is doing, helping to remove his clothes before bath time. I escorted him to the bathroom with Josie following. Jake began to throw a fit. An all out nightmare sort of fit.

I stopped and held him in my arms and put my face to his and

asked, "Jake, are you upset because you don't want Josie to see you naked in the tub?"

Jake: Complete silence.

I apologized to him, and Josie reassured him that she did not need to see him 'nekkid'. I asked Jake if it would be okay to just show how he takes off his shirt, and he did readily. Then he ran out the bathroom door and into the backyard laughing.

_______________________________________

Friday

Jake kept putting his feet on the table at school. His Rifton chair has an ankle strap option which was on his chair for awhile, though not used.

Anna: "Jake, if you do not keep your feet on the floor I will put your ankle straps on the chair on Monday."
Jake: "I hate you."

(he got a bit of a dress-down for this one)

and when I took him down to bed

Me: "I love you Jake."

Jake: muffled and into the pillow but I really think I heard "...love you too."

Whoa!

I passed out last night. No...not from drinking. I got such a bad headache. I just sort of threw up, got an ice pack and went to bed. Lovely.

Today I am a bit dizzy. Even lovelier.

Hmm maybe I have too much to do so I am being PZYCHOSOMATICO one of my alter ego Not-so-Super identities.

Fashion Queen.. uhm no

There was a cute outfit in there somewhere. Apparently I should put yesterday's clothing in the laundry room, and place the clean clothes out of reach.

It is such an amazing thing to have a child who can choose what to wear. I sort of forgot that lots of people wear hats, and just because Jake won't wear one doesn't mean that Lucy won't try. She can put on her own sweater. She appears to be putting her shoes on the correct feet without much help at all. She prefers one shirt over another, and tells me so.

Right now she's watching Go Diego! Go! and she is participating...answering the questions about colors and cheering and yelling things like "We did it!" and "Caw" (for Macaw)

I know this is all "typical" behavior, but today it is all a miracle to me.

Cross Hairs

I made my 10:00am appointment 8 weeks ago. My hair was shredding this morning as I forced it once again into ponytails. It was time.

At 9:41 I got the call from school. Jake threw up.. he actually ran to the bathroom himself and threw up into the toilet. So that's good right? I mean that he knew where to go, and then felt better and sat down in his chair next to his aide.

So now it's 9:42am and I am trying to figure out whether I bag the hair appointment, disappointing myself, all of those who must look at my shredding hair, and of course all of those little hairs themselves who had so been looking forward to living a new life on the floor of the fancy salon.

F*CK! F*ck! I do not want to go pick up Jake right now..in two hours, fine, but NOT RIGHT NOW. and of course then I feel like a total jerk wad, the cruelest mom in the world, because I do not want to miss out on my haircut?! What? Since when does my hair come before my child? Apparently today? Spring break lasted 600 years.

So...I called Pollyanna. No answer on any phone associated with her name.Damn. Damn.

I called Sage. Sage, who works out of her home and would therefore need to stop focusing on her wee little clients to chat with me.. thank goodness she also did not pick up. Damn. Damn. Damn!

Then I got a little bit close to weepy thinking "I have no one." Which is soooooo not true, but you know how it just feels like that on some days, and lately a lot of days for me? Like I am just all alone hanging off a buoy in the middle of the Atlantic? or the Adriatic, but most likely the Pacific, because who really has the money to travel these days anywhooo?

So I called Squid. I called precious Squid who was happily enjoying her first child-free morning in weeks. Like I said spring break lasted 600 years. I called her and (of course) she went and picked up my kid from ALL THE WAY ACROSS TOWN (btw I probably owe her like 6 bucks in gas for that alone). Then she went about her day and when I was done getting my "do" "done". She was patiently waiting at my house with my happy-to-be-home son.

As it turns out, I am not alone. It feels good to not be alone. Also feels great to have had my hair cut...and also, I am quite a bit thankful that Jake did not throw up in Squid's car, and all over Mali.

Thanks Squid. You're the bestest.

p.s. Jake is totally fine and probably threw up due to a double, perhaps triple full-fat milk course this morning, as Mommy and Daddy were both taking care of him and may have given in to the requests separately and sequentially. We normally do no more than 10 ounces of milk at a time, 'cause Mr. Jumpy jump can make his milk shake.. and 30 ounces apparently makes him barf.