well done please.

I just went crazy. yelling at our horrible neighbors across the street. They have been setting off fireworks all night...aiming over our house, and apparently I was done.

So done that I went to the front porch.. and yelled at the top of my lungs (and if you think Lucy is loud.. you should hear where she got those lungs...)

me:"That's it. Aim the fireworks over your own house"

punk ass kids: "We did."

Me--the crazy lady:"No. You did not.. not when it is coming down over here. I am done with you. I am so done with you. Knock it off."

punk ass kids: "Sorry" etc.

then sort of quietly "Fuck you."

and that was it, I yelled even louder:

"Don't tell me to Fuck Off. That is it. Cops are going to be called EVERY SINGLE TIME.I am DONE with you."

Enter my husband...
who looks like he is a bit scared of me.

I guess I was done. I am quite certain I was possible set off by some other things, like traveling with a small child today who screamed on the plane as we came down because her ears hurt, then coming home to my house... which amazingly did not become a clean, neat oasis whilst I was away... and having talked to my darling husband who (I think) owes me an apology for a mean tone of voice he used (under dire circumstances.. but it was mean just the same..)and he does not think he owes me an apology at all.. and I am behind on my project, and I miss my insane family and all of the Southern California drama.. and we are trying to decide where we will spend Christmas...and my downstairs bathroom is nowhere near being finished, and the back yard is still in a crumble jumble mess, and school will be starting in just a few weeks and we have not set up all that we should for our Special Ed PTA and I feel responsible,

and... and some very close family friends just found out that the baby they are carrying probably won't survive outside the womb, and if he did he would have what many would not call much of a life.. and I am pretending it is not bothering me, but it looks like they will terminate the pregnancy and I am just so sad for them, and sad that they had to even think about such a horrible decision and I feel sick inside because their doctor said things like "The child may never walk, and probably won't talk, and won't be able to feed or dress himself, or have any sort of a normal life".. and I know that their circumstances are different, but

those are all things that could have been said about Jake.

and apparently I was done.

and I yelled at the hooligans. and I am so so so done.